Twentynothing.

With my 21st birthday fast approaching, I am suddenly struck by how little I’ve got done so far in my life. In a world where there are so many teenage Olympic gold medallists, Quvenzhané Wallis and the unbelievable Malala Yousafzai, it’s hard not to feel that way. There are times when I am overwhelmed by my lack of achievements. It’s not that I’m expecting Oscars and gold medals. I give myself a hard time about the fact that my A-Level grades were disappointing, and my GCSEs even more so. I wish I had a single trophy or medal to stand or hang beside those of my brother, my mum and my dad.

To cheer myself up, though, I decided to really think about things that I do want to achieve in the future.

To achieve anything at all, I need to be more open to putting myself out there. I need to recognise opportunities and pursue them. My inability to put my finger on what it is I want to achieve is probably feeding my perceived failure. Admitting what it is you want is terrifying though because it’s a really specific failure when you don’t achieve it. Sometimes it’s easier to live in a cycle of abstract failures. I think it’s time to get out of the cycle.

I want to write for HelloGiggles.

HelloGiggles is such a positive environment. It’s fun and silly and feminist. As a reader, I just want to take it all in. A wonderful friend of mine writes for the site and since getting to know her, my desire to write for HelloGiggles has increased tenfold. It seems to me it’s just a community of people writing positively about things that they want to write about. It’s the dream!

I want to make the New York/ Washington DC trip happen.

Accompanied by an equally student-poor best friend, I am determined that one day I will be getting on a New York bound flight. I want to see a recording of The Daily Show, see a Broadway show and walk through Central Park. While we’re there though, as West Wing fans of the highest order, it would be silly not to take a little trip to Washington DC and see those sights.

I want to see a script I’ve written be performed.

I’m not that experienced when it comes to writing screenplays. I’ve always wanted to be a scriptwriter, to write the way Aaron Sorkin does when he’s high and to explore the intricacies of human interaction. The problem is that until now I’ve shied away from the opportunities. NO MORE.

I want to get a literary agent.

Whenever I read articles about how hard it is to get a literary agent, it terrifies me. The stories are worse than when actors talk about getting into Hollywood – and that shit is Jumanji fear-mongering! I really, really want to do this though and I think with a little self-belief I can. This is mostly to enable other goals related to my writing. Also: do they let you call them Special Agent Whatshername?

I want to walk into a bookshop and see my name on a shelf.

This means that if I don’t get published in my lifetime, you should at least buy me a memorial shelf when I die. I’ll take posthumous success.

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8 Comments

  1. abbey

     /  April 19, 2013

    This is all soooooo great. I am a big fan of all your goals – they are all challenging but achievable, as any good goal should be. 🙂 Also, I live in NYC and know some literary agents, so….come visit!!

    Reply
  2. You are only 21..well almost 21 and you already have a list of goals that honestly i don’t see you not meeting them, you’re writing is really good and I imagine is only going to get better as you get older. You are ahead of the curve and don’t get discouraged by the amount of time it might take to achieve these goals! Also I had no idea what HelloGiggles was…so thank you for introducing that to me because they are amazing! Goodluck!

    Reply
  3. I found Jess through HelloGiggles and I found you through her, so it’s a wonderful idea for you to start writing for them. I love your blog and I’m so excited to see the wonderful things you are no doubt going to achieve =) also, I started watching West Wing from the beginning at the start of the year and I am also turning into a superfan. My only regret is that I hadn’t seen it before my own trip to Washington. A return trip is definintely in order.

    Reply
    • Aww, thank you for the nicest comment ever! Thank you so much. It doesn’t take long for The West Wing to turn people into superfans, I don’t think. It’s SO GOOOOOOD. Yes! I’m going to properly geek out when I go. I’m going to embarrass everyone who knows me, haha. I just hope it’s not too long away.

      Reply

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